This is as Much for Me, as it is for You

This is as much for me, as it is for you...

I think I'm learning the interrelated-ness of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit in a new way these past few weeks. And I'm learning it through the things I am being obedient in. I find that as I am obedient and choose to, as well as I can, serve the One who has called me to these things, I find that I am blessed in the middle of it. I may be doing it for the sake of the One who calls me to the task, but ias I am accomplishing the task, it brings me health and life that fills me up...and then I can go and do it all again, and would gladly do it, because it brings me pleasure.

And I think that in a small way, what I am experiencing reflects how the Father, Son and Holy Spirit serve each other all the time and in the process get filled up and have such joy and pleasure in serving one another. To be frank, this is a picture of all the best marriages: the task is done for the other person, because of your care for them (such as caring for them when they are sick), but then in the middle of bringing life and health back to that other person, you find life and health yourself, because God dwells in the middle of that life giving, other serving action. It's a wild thing to begin to grasp, but I'm really loving just even beginning to understand this journey of self giving.

I have always been self preserving. Even today as I read the verse which speaks about the fact that "if you want to save your life, you will lose it and those who give their lives save them" (Matthew 16:25) I was struck by how self preserving my life has always been. I have read that verse numerous times, and have known that that self preservation was something I have recently unveiled and started to fight in myself but connecting the two today was incredible. When we are on the lookout to stay safe and control things and keep it all the way we want in our lives, we lose it. It wears us out, number one, to live that way and secondly, it brings life to no one, not even to ourselves. And this new way--seeking out the Father and asking how to pour out my life--even if He asks something very crazy of me (such as giving up my job and moving to the land of Haiti) I would do it, because whenever I give up my life for Him, it is life for me. I would rather be serving my God anywhere--and being continually filled up by Him who is the life giver Himself--than live out my life for myself on the nicest place on the planet. It just becomes that easy for His followers. I mean, you can read about them in the Bible--they would do anything, go anywhere "because they had found the life that was truly life!" 

So my life is ever changing, looking stranger from the outside every day I am sure. For I am learning to let go of my agenda and all the ways I think I can find hope and I'm just leaning into Him. And when I lead that Bible study or pray for that person in church or write that bit more in the book--life comes. I am learning and giving and people are benefitting through a closer walk with the Lord--but it also does beautiful things in me...wonderful works are being wrought, the ones long planned before time began. Thank you for life Father. Thank you that this is as much for me, as it is for You. Thank You for letting me learn the dance of dependence and joy, others serving and life that You, Your Son and the Holy Spirit are always in. My life will always be indebted to You, all my love is for You--and finds its source in You. Hallelujah! this my song...

This is as much for me, as it is for you...