To Be Known...

I've had a weird day...

We just use each other--I keep seeing it. And it eats me alive.

I didn't do too much today except take in a few youtube vidoes (have you heard of "The 21 Convention"?) and watch some "So You Think You Can Dance?" (the one where 12 contestants are left) and a "Melissa and Joey" episode (What Happens in New Jersey, part 2)...pretty basic stuff, right?

Wrong.

I'm sitting here just sick to my stomach. It's awful, I feel awful. At first I didn't get it--why am I so depressed? Why do I feel so down and just plain icky? Believe me, I know I shouldn't watch TV--I never feel good afterward. But this particular mix was paticularly potent--and let me tell you why. I'm praying it ignites a hunger in you for more in your relationships--especially between men and women. In a world where sex is cheap and people are for using, I hope...we can be a catalyst for change.

I hope...we create authentic relationships.
I hope...we see people as more than hook up partners.
I hope...we learn to unveil our hearts and protect each other.
I hope...we learn the value of a human being, that they are not cheap and they are worth more than satisfying another person's lust. They are worth cherishing, honoring, protecting and figthing for.
I hope...women learn to display their beauty AND their hearts. I hope they learn that they are more than a pretty face.
I hope...men learn that we are looking for more than their muscles, we are looking for their protection. We're both fragile and we both need each other in significant ways and a life long partnership where each is known by and lifts the other up is worth spending a whole lot of time waiting for and is so crazy beneficial to your development as a whole being.

What I saw today--it's not worth mentioning except to express the ache of my heart. Men advising other men to never pursue a girl because it's weird. In a talk entitled "10 Mistakes Men Make in their Twenties", the speaker explicitly told these men that even though they may  want to hook up with a girl, they should not even send out a text to her. Let her pursue you, then you know she's interested. Wah-hooo! What?! I couldn't even get to the second mistake men make--I was so shocked and reeling from the implications  (I stumbled on this as I was looking through youtube clips on mistakes people make in their twenties). These men gather together to learn to exploit women to get what they want from them. It goes against everything that I know and live for...

I'm trying to process this and I essentially can't--I just pray. I just didn't know...

Ephesians 5 discusses how we are to walk as those who follow Christ and talks about how we shouldn't take part in these unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them (verse 11). It's crazy how clearly these verses describe our present dating world--and what we, as Christians, those who walk in the light, are called to. I encourage you to mull over these words:

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. ² And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

³ But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. ⁴ Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. ⁵ For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. ⁶ Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. ⁷ Therefore do not become partners with them; ⁸ for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light ⁹ (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), ¹⁰ and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. ¹¹ Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. ¹² For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. ¹³ But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, ¹⁴ for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says,

“Awake, O sleeper,
    and arise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.”

¹⁵ Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, ¹⁶ making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. ¹⁷ Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. ¹⁸ And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, ¹⁹ addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, ²⁰ giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, ²¹ submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Such a different way we are called to! And I am so grateful! We don't have to live as women wondering if we will still be seen as beautiful to our husbands when we are older (this was the ache of the song which the six girls of "So You Think You Can Dance" danced to together). We don't use each other and abuse each other, picking each other as sexual partners based on looks--it's a meeting of hearts, that's there for our forever! And I know that living in this way is not easy (what is in this life?) but I am willing to fight! I just pray that we will begin to live so radically different as Christians before our world. We will walk away from bars and clubs where men and women exploit each other...we will refuse to watch TV and movies which teach us (never believe that what you watch doesn't affect you!) that to sleep with someone is no big deal and will cause no guilt or shame on the part of any party (that was Melissa and Joey today...). We as humans are much too complex for that to be true; especially as it comes to sex, which is a joining of two people into one. I mean, you can shut down your emotions, your compassion, your ability to care deeply for another (which you would have to do if you were going to sleep with person after person), but who wants a relationship like that? 

Let us live asking the Lord to fill us, to make us more whole and complete in Him so that we will have eyes to recognize the good man or good woman He has for us to be joined to. I encourage you, if you're married--take advantage of it! Lift one another up, find ten things today that you love or respect about one another and share it with one aonther. Let that conversation and relationship go deep...it's a wonder what happens when you begin to see that person again as if for the first time. Ask God to bless your marriage and make it fruitful--not just with kids, but emotionally, relationally--ask Him to teach you how to know and be known by that person and create an even more beautiful partnership together. He wants to do it--just ask!!! If your single, sing psalms and hymns (or modern worship songs, or your own songs) from the heart to the people in your life--they're a blessing to you and you can learn from them. Learn to get close to people, learn to be known. Then God can expose your darkness and redeem you into light again--and your life will get fuller and brighter in Him. He'll bring you what you need, when you need it (this includes a spouse) so delight in Him--DO IT NOW!--and trust His timing. He knows what is good for you--be known by Him.

The Ordinary Life

A lot of people are where i am...here in the waiting (hey, that would be a good blog title!)

Waiting...in the middle of an ordinary life...makes a lot of people wonder. I've been waiting for a long time...probably since I started this blog. My life hasn't stopped and there's no pause button--it's just an attitude that i seem to have adopted--and I no longer see it as an unhealthy one. Are we not all waiting? Is not the return of our King emminent (or is it imminent)? *if you care, correct me--I need to learn the difference :)

He is coming...

And we are here in the waiting until that day.

For so long, i have rued this waiting spirit. I have wondered why I couldn't not move on, why i felt this...oh, how to describe? Now I see clearly.

It is not the waiting that should be despised--it should be a present attitude for all those who are now waiting in the not yet--we have our ears tuned to the sky, waiting for the cry of our King, the moment when we go to meet Him in the air--and really all will be well in that moment, and all manner of things will be well. I am waiting for that moment, really longing for it. I am not ashamed of that.

But what we do in the waiting MATTERS. This person who we choose to be every day, the places we choose to invest ourselves--this is the person we will be for the rest of eternity. I want to use my talents well. (Remember that parable.)

I have many things I am waiting on--and from my human, earthly perspective, not a one of them is close to being fulfilled. But does that mean I lose hope? Does that mean I stop dreaming? Does that mean i stop asking the Lord for His input and His guidance?

Oh, you press in so much deeper during the waiting...

And this serves a good purpose. When we are out there in "the doing" we can so easily lose sight of His face and get caught up in doing what we think is right...which is good, as long as you have been privileged to have a time of waiting where you know His face well, where you have learned His mind and trust His guidance and provision.

I am tempted on some days to call this time wasted--who wouldn't? But I am beginning to see that more than anything I am one of the privileged few (especially here in America!) who get to slow down and relearn all the beautiful basics of life again from the perspective of the God who knows me so well and has such beautiful plans for me. He sees this time as precious--I want to see it that way too.