Alice in Wonderland...again

I feel like Alice in Wonderland...

haha, this is something I've actually written about in another blog--probably a few weeks after I saw the movie. But it's like it's becoming more true--as though it has accelerated in some way...this is hard to write, because its not fully formed in my mind...but usually the only way for me to really know what I'm thinking is to write it out! That pins it down, keeps it from running around like crazy in my head and helps me discern why I am feeling/thinking/acting the way that I am. Writing...my necessary and God given tool.

Back to me being Alice :)

Everything changes today...I find myself facing a new journey. In a lot of ways, my life has been my own these past few years--I have gotten to choose where I want to be, how I want to get there and how long to stay--at times this was lonely, but it was free! Now a new season--Family! First the summer with my parents and then with the missionaries in Mongolia. I keep hearing the verse/idea: "he puts the lonely into families"(Psalm 68:6) and I can't help but know that it applies to me. I have a lot to learn and re-learn about doing family with my fellow human beings :) I also have a lot to learn about laying down my life so that others may thrive (this was the theme--and a fitting one--at my last day at the Stirring today). It's going to be really a wild ride--I don't think I can quite grasp it at this moment...maybe that's why I feel so much like Alice in Wonderland--this adventure just fell upon her and she totally wasn't ready for it--except that she was...she was the one that it had always been planned that she would risk her life to free a kingdom (whoa! noticing parallels!). She started out so uncertain and then as life progressed, all that was in her was revealed--and she was capable of far more than she could have told you she was at the beginning of the journey.

Oh gosh, this has been so much my journey! If you would have told me what the last few years of my life would have looked like, I would have cried and asked you to take it away. But Papa God saw me through all of it so beautifully--I didn't know it, but all I had needed was already in me/God was investing into me. BIZARRE! And so often life posed challenges that threatened to overwhelm me and God  intervened when I called out and became my strength and hope--He invested authority into me, endurance and so much hope...the things I have been through--they show me that God is more than capable of bringing me through any trial or darkness that He puts in front of me...I'm not afraid.

And I have stuff to be afraid of: moving home where I have no friends, moving home in general!, moving to Mongolia in a few months!!!!, going to Haiti whenever that happens :) haha, this stuff is crazy--but I've already seen Him intervene and be strong in all the places where I am weak: so again, I just offer up all I am to Papa and pray that He uses me in whatever way He chooses--it's not my glory that's at stake, it's His!

Alice in Wonderland...ready and willing to adventure with Him...

Pray for me :)

"In His Name"

"Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full."

--Jesus (John 16:24)

I think sometimes I don't even know what to ask.

Am I the only one? I feel like a lot of people always think "super supernaturally" when they read this verse. We can ask for healings and demons to be sent out of people and [fill in your own version of being supernaturally awesome]. I don't see anything wrong with that...but sometimes I think I forget to ask for the littlest things, like a husband who will truly be a partner for me throughout my life (okay, that is NOT one of the littlest things! haha). 

Do you see the point I'm trying to get to? No...haha, oh yeah, only I live in my mind. I was just reading some of Jesus' poignant last thoughts to us and realized I don't ask Him for so much that I should be asking Him for. I feel like I almost constantly make God way too small.

These are His words: "Truly, truly, I say to you, you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice. You will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will turn into joy. When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish for joy that a human being has been born into the world. So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you. In that day you will ask nothing of me. Truly, truly, I say to you, whatever you ask of the Father in my name, he will give it to you. Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full." (John 16:20-24)

Looking over those verses again, you can sense a transition in the relationship (which makes sense, as this was His last night with them). The way Jesus is putting it, it's almost like there's a new level of life and possibility coming for them. They haven't asked yet for anything "in His name"--they haven't needed too, He's been right there. Something new is coming, now that Jesus is leaving and the Holy Spirit will be coming to them. They get to ask, and have answers and a fullness of joy...

I think we need to recognize that there's a certain posture that must be present here--and I think it has much to do with the phrase "in my name". I don't think there's any kind of hocus pocus, magic word kind of thing going on here (you say His name and you get whatever you want)--it's more in how you position yourself and your life in regards to Jesus. Are you honoring Him? Is He Lord over your life? Are you living out life relying and trusting in this name? Or do you have other sources of hope and strength that you can go to?

I want to live my whole life focused on this person, Jesus. And trust me, this is no blog post to tell you how far I've come and how right I am. I'm still on the journey. I am definitely and always still figuring it out. Some days I truly feel as though I have no clue--but Jesus still shows up and is so faithful in my life. He's teaching me to "live in His name" in my thought life lately. I so often think of people and start worrying about them as I think through their situations. Lately, God keeps pointing out that instead of worrying and getting upset, I should turn that time into prayer--lifting them up and asking His blessings on them, over and over as often as they come to mind--isn't that so much better?

I need to ask more--I need to stop trying to figure my life out all day long and simply let my thoughts turn to prayers (aren't we called to pray without ceasing anyway?). I think that this is the way of joy, especially as we see that He hears them and is always responding to His children. We need to keep in mind that this is all done in His own timing, but that doesn't mean you stop praying for it when it doesn't come right away--you persevere in prayer! Case in point for me: future husband. Haha...this is the way of joy. 

I think I want to end by just encouraging you--whoever you are--to keep praying! He asked us to ask, he wants us to be blessed--this is not a prosperity message...well, maybe it is. I'm not telling you to pray for a Ferrari (well, you could) or use God purely for your own gain (wait, you're not powerful enough to do that anyway!). I'm saying that we should seek what He has promised (and to find out what He's promised, read His book) and that our souls, relationships, minds and hearts should be prospering and being filled with His joy. Look to Jesus, honor Him, pray "in His name" and wait on the Lord--you have no idea what He will do! This is a season of hope!