The Feast

"On this mountain the Lord of hosts will make for all peoples

a feast of rich food, a feast of well-aged wine,

of rich food full of marrow, of aged wine well refined."

I love this...God is so good. Just realizing that all of us will be there--rich and poor alike...that made me cry as I read this. God has love for all of us, for the rich--who intentionally and unintentionally have caused much of the suffering in the world--and for the poor, who have had to endure through things no one should endure and often been treated as worthless...and yet, God sees no distinction. We all have been made victims (I don't know if that's the right word) or at least have been subject to the evil that has filled the world and (sometimes) seemed to conquer it. But His love...He sees no stain upon us, no judgement against us because of what Jesus has done! We are free! We are free! Will you shout that with me?

And on that day...that glorious day, when we will be brought into His presence never to be separated again, on that day we will all feast with Him. Sometimes I almost feel like we ("the rich") shouldn't deserve to be at that table--but God knows we have suffered too, perhaps even more acutely, though no one would claim that to be so. However, if you really think about it, what's worse: being continually hungry or living long with food in your belly but no understanding of what it truly means to be known by another person. I almost want to say we ("the rich") have the shorter end of the bargain. We are so lonely!

Haiti will be a blessing in the future to the nations which surround it. I firmly believe that. It's going to be so good!! (read this blog: http://bennyv.theworldrace.org This guys in Haiti right now and I love what he's saying!) We think we're helping them--and we are, materially--but the bigger blessing comes back to us as we realize our spiritual poverty and get hungry when we visit them and see how they are so filled! It's Jesus...He's so good! Crave Him!

One day we'll eat with Him...and check out what else will happen (the rest of that verse):

And he will swallow up on this mountain

the covering that is cast over all peoples, the veil that is spread over all nations.

⁸ He will swallow up death forever;
and the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from all faces,
and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth,for the LORD has spoken.

⁹It will be said on that day,
"Behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us.
This is the LORD; we have waited for him;let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation." (Isaiah 25:7-9)

He's alive He's alive! He's alive!!!!!

Learning to Hold a Vorpal Sword

God is so good...I'm glad He's in charge of my life.

It's funny to be where I'm at right now and just wonder...God has such big things ahead—and yet its all slow and gradual and in its time. Nothing needs to be rushed and nothing will be lost—I’ll make it right where I am supposed to, just when I'm supposed to get there...That's the beautiful thing about God's timing.

Florida in two years? That's where things are pointing! I even found a program at the University of Florida that will lead straight to teaching in an elementary school—my dream! If I could work with kids every day all day long for the rest of my life...that's all I need!

And then beyond being in the States as a teacher there's so much more! This is just preparation for what's ahead...

There will be much discouragement and temptation to lose heart in the years ahead…much prayer is needed and learning to abide—stand so close to Christ…it won’t be easy. Our enemy hates to see God’s purposes fulfilled in our lives! And I’m so vulnerable…but I have a good God, a strong God standing on my side. You just have to read some of the Psalms and it becomes so clear to you that the enemy cannot stand—God will always triumph and His purposes will come about. This is the time when He is training my hands for battle, teaching me how to fight the enemy. Man…just read Psalm 18 and 144…you can’t help but be so filled with hope. Our God is awesome…

A God whom we must learn to fear and regard as holy…teach us the proper way to respond to your goodness. We don’t want to be foolish…teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom…

I want to tremble before God, learn to speak only what He tells me to speak and live before Him purely—not having any selfish ambition or vain conceit, but making it the point of my life to bring Him glory and live in complete obedience to Him. I want this to be more than just words, I need His discipline. I am not who I ought to be…let me continue to walk in Your light Lord. Don’t let Your Presence leave us, don’t let us grieve Your Holy Spirit, have mercy on us.

I’m still in training...

I love this picture...it reminds me that we have all authority in Christ and the gates of Hell cannot stand against the church...Jesus holds the keys to death and Hades--do we even realize who He's created us to be as we follow Him? He's already made a way, we just have to follow Him into those dark places and bring light, as little children following our Father. He has put a beauty and a strength upon us and as we move with Him, we will see His goodness in our lives.

Psalm 18

25With the merciful you show yourself merciful;
with the blameless man you show yourself blameless;
26with the purified you show yourself pure; and with the crooked you make yourself seem tortuous.
27For you save a humble people, but the haughty eyes you bring down.
28For it is you who light my lamp; the LORD my God lightens my darkness.
29For by you I can run against a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall.
30This God—his way is perfect; the word of the LORD proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.

31For who is God, but the LORD? And who is a rock, except our God?—
32the God who equipped me with strength
and made my way blameless.
33He made my feet like the feet of a deer
and set me secure on the heights.
34He trains my hands for war, so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
35You have given me the shield of your salvation, and your right hand supported me, and your gentleness made me great.
36You gave a wide place for my steps under me,
and my feet did not slip.
37I pursued my enemies and overtook them, and did not turn back till they were consumed.
38I thrust them through, so that they were not able to rise; they fell under my feet.
39For you equipped me with strength for the battle;
you made those who rise against me sink under me.
40You made my enemies turn their backs to me, and those who hated me I destroyed.
41They cried for help, but there was none to save;
they cried to the LORD, but he did not answer them.
42I beat them fine as dust before the wind; I cast them out like the mire of the streets.

43You delivered me from strife with the people; you made me the head of the nations; people whom I had not known served me.
44As soon as they heard of me they obeyed me;
foreigners came cringing to me.
45 Foreigners lost heart
and came trembling out of their fortresses.

46The LORD lives, and blessed be my rock,
and exalted be the God of my salvation—
47the God who gave me vengeance
and subdued peoples under me,
48who delivered me from my enemies;
yes, you exalted me above those who rose against me;
you rescued me from the man of violence.

49 For this I will praise you, O LORD, among the nations, and sing to your name.
50Great salvation he brings to his king,
and shows steadfast love to his anointed,
to David and his offspring forever.

Purity

I know I should still be writing this essay...ha ha

But I just felt like writing about the goodness of God.

Have you know His goodness lately? Its like a blanket, a comfort wrapping you up so completely--and its like a hug from a friend who really understands--and He really understands.

I was standing in worship last night, no, I think I was sitting at that point, and I was suddenly there but not there--there was white light all around, so pure and holy, light like I'd never seen anywhere--and then there was Jesus and He was handing me something...or was I handing it to Him? I can't be sure, I just know we both were holding onto this heart and it was pure white like the light all around it. Names had been written on it, but they'd all been searing (I think that's the right word) of the surface of that heart and now it was whole, clean, no stain upon it--and then there was one name written across that heart--His name, Jesus.

May we live lives of purity, so much so that the only name written on our hearts is His. And let this be known--Jesus sees no stain on you. He's given you His name, to guard and defend your purity and He's given you His heart to go forth into the world and love. May that be your anchor and your tower of refuge, His name which is above all other names and His love, found in knowing Him deeply, and His righteousness, which is now ours, because we are His sons and daughters. Don't let anything draw you from that purity...I know I need to watch myself and my heart. I love that God is with us on this--He's doing the work, just as we are. Like that verse I ran across just a little while ago: "Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure." Philippians 2:12-13

Keep dancing before Him and with Him. Remember that you are never alone. Jesus is always by your side, just waiting for you to reach out to Him. Take all your dreams and place them in His hands. He knows what to do with them.

He is good!

Standing Face to Face

Hmmm....I should be writing an essay

You know, as you learn more, you learn the implications of what you're learning. And when your following Christ, these things you learn that show you the brokenness of the world matter to you and you have to care, you love to care, because you are His and He is love.

But love isn't all that Christians crack it up to be. It's something much stronger and it hurts sometimes...because a lot of times pain changes you in ways that nothing else can--it makes you stronger somehow. This may not make sense, because its still forming in my mind, but the way we portray Jesus...I don't think that's what He really was like, a lot of times.

Like, Jesus would be intense. Some people wouldn't want to look Him in the eyes or talk to Him because they'd know He would uncover who they were as soon as He started asking questions. He just knew...

But He had this love...it like pulled people toward Him in a way they'd never felt and wouldn't know how to react to, they just knew that they wanted Him, wanted to be in His presence and feel His words--because the things Jesus said went so much stronger than skin deep...you felt the truth of it in your soul. To stand in His Presence while He spoke...

And to hear Him sing! What'd I'd give to hear Jesus sing (oh, wait, I have...:)

Hmm...I love that knowing God and His Son goes so much deeper than we ever were told. Like, all I want to do lately is stand face to face with Him...and that's all He's asking me to do at this point in my life.

So good.

PRAY FOR HAITI

Home with the family...craziness. Also a time when I do a lot of reading! It's nice to be able to sleep in...well, I kind of sleep in except for Sarah coming in and first asking me to help her make breakfast and then bringing breakfast to me--and it was delicious!

Last night--well all yesterday I was praying for Haiti. I found an article which was telling of an incredible conference going on in Haiti today, put together in part by a woman named Joan Hunter. I really know nothing about this woman, but healing follows her. Haiti needs this healing. I was told (multiple times) that I have the gift of healing, not necessarily physical, but emotional and spiritual. Even before this was spoken over me, I was part of one girl being healed--physically and emotionally--really powerfully. (Weird, I hadn't remembered that until now) I wonder what will come of this woman and her ministry.

The real conference started today and about 1000 pastors are supposed to be coming. They'll be learning/being trained for two days and the third day (when we celebrate Jesus' resurrection!) they'll be praying for the people of the city--and more than 1 million are expected to show up!

All of this is being held in front of the presidential palace, where the three days of fasting and prayer were held in February a month after the earthquake. God is still moving and reaching out to this desperate country with open arms through His children. I am amazed and so enchanted with how God is moving and the good things He's doing and the fact that I get to watch and pray through it all. I am alive at a time when things are moving quickly, the Spirit is so active. I never ever imagined that I would be a part of anything like this. God is so much more than I can put into words!

And today we remember the day He endured more pain than we can imagine--all for the sake of love for us.

The love shown on the cross...confounds me and leaves me with no words. What do we say to love shown in this self sacrificial way, love which is so different from the self-gratifying love we see played out before us everyday. The love of the cross makes us pause and squint as we try to comprehend; or else captures us for only a moment before we move on, unsure of how to put into words what we just saw.

I feel that far too often we just walk away from the cross--because it really doesn't make sense to us. Those who choose to pick up their own cross and follow after Him are far and few between.

But through these few the love of God spreads through the world. I am so excited for Haiti today...on the day when He picked up His cross and walked to His death, they are learning the power of His name and how He can free people from all that has kept them chained. After all, Jesus didn't stay dead forever! That cross was for one day--but Jesus came back from that defeat, and He was stronger than ever! Too often we see Jesus as the one who made a way for us to have eternal life--and we forget that that eternal life starts now! We live abundantly (but not as the world sees abundance) from NOW until FOREVER. If Christians started grasping this now--and calling on the abundant life that He has to offer--no more sin controlling you, no more sickness keeping you from your dreams and no more shame keeping you from speaking His name--how powerful we would be! The Holy Spirit is real, He came first at Pentecost and He is moving through the whole earth even now. We are meant to live out this life by relying on the Holy Spirit for our whole strength--because He is connected to Jesus and God, our Father. We're not living this life out trying to do good works out of our own strength, but by asking God what He's up to in the world (getting to know Him intimately, so much so that His words--found in the Bible--are always buzzing through our brain and we know Him, and the truth He spoke, deeply) and then asking Him to move through us as we talk with people, pray for people and love. It's only His power, and His power flowing through us as we rely on and abide in Him, that will change the world. So don't look to yourself anymore! There is a higher power and His yoke is truly easy and light! Call on Jesus with all that you have within you and He will hear. He has just been waiting for you to give your full attention to Him, no more distractions or other's voices keeping you away. What this world needs is Jesus--and He's just waiting for them to cry out to Him.

Full of hope and joy because of Him and His goodness toward us and Haiti...