This Will Get Interesting...

I just posted this on facebook...should be interesting...

"Is our generation starving?

A funny word to use for some of the most well fed people in the world…but what are we feeding ourselves? Hamburgers, fast food, video games, internet (including pornography) and television…tell me that these things satisfy, tell me that they’re enough and that you go to bed after stuffing your face with them feeling accepted and loved and whole. Tell me that these speak life to your soul and shout, “Freedom!” Tell me that you could live your whole life centered around these things, no other longings…

I know it’s not true.

I know you want to be known, loved, valued, cared for. I know you see yourself in a mirror and feel alone, even after hours on facebook, trying to reach out. I know that your life is filled with too many fights, too little connection, too much pain, drama, heart ache…

I know because you are the generation which is trying to feed itself. Some try drugs—just a chance to see life beyond life and feel safe and secure for once. Some bury in video games—you really can be the hero there. Some feed on Internet pornography…

Oh but we fail, we fail, we fail…our society has killed that spiritual part of us, told us its not real and we shouldn’t pursue it. If you do pursue it, you’re weird and here are all the ways…why are we listening?

Why are we putting up with this shit, believing we weren’t created by a God who loves us as His dear children and has plans for us? Why wouldn’t you want that? Why have we not stood up and fought? Why have we not begun railing against the tyranny which claims we aren’t what we’ve always known we are?

Blessed.

Beloved.

Bought with a price.

His own.

Jesus died—that’s a plain fact—Jesus died for our sorry asses. And when we choose to put Him in a box and store that box away…its like the mass murder of souls. We more than starve; we wallow in our desperation, our despair.

WHY HAVE WE LET THIS GO ON!?

Who told us what we could and should believe? Who stole away our rights, our heritage? You were called to be a son or daughter of the Most High God. Jesus paid for you to know God intimately, personally, for all eternity. The waiting stops here: you know Him. You know Jesus, you know the Father. This is not hard and it’s not awful, it’s the most beautiful thing in the world. Jesus loves me and you and you and you…look around the room, wherever you’re sitting or standing—see those people? He loves them with every ounce of His being and He knows their story and He wants them to know Him. How crazy is that? You probably don’t even know them very well, why they function the way they do, but He does. He knows you that way too—and He still loves you…

…and He doesn’t want you to starve. That’s not what He made you for. So you can keep eating Big Macs and jumping in and out of relationships and trying to supply all your needs in a way you can control…

…or you can make a decision that feels like jumping out of a moving bus and land SPLAT! into His arms.

It’s your choice…

..and the moment is now."

I couldn't not let what was in my heart leap out--YIKES!!! Haha, I love God and I hope He uses it well.

When Love Comes...

Every once in a great while, something extraordinary happens. An epiphany comes, seemingly out of nowhere, and your life is no longer the same. That’s what happened to me tonight…

I go to the Stirring every weekend at 6pm, religiously. I was feeling a bit obstinate today, so I got there late, sat alone, worship had already started. As we worshipped I was so intent, like I’d never been before. I could hardly sing or move around (very unusual for me). I gradually became aware that I felt like a newly married bride—just wanting to be near her husband, hungry for him, not sure if she could spend a day without him. That’s the strength and intensity of the desire I felt. It was just bizarre. It took me over…no other focus. I just wanted to be with my God, look Him in the face and hear the words He had to say to me. I never wanted anything more; I’ll never want anything more—just to be with Him.

Needless to say, I was a mess. When they started preaching, I immediately knew I needed to leave. I am a shy, rule oriented person, so standing up in the middle of a church service, gathering my things and walking out the door is not the norm for me. But there was almost a roaring in my ears and I couldn’t even focus, I knew I had to just go, Go, GO!

I left—and as I drove away I began to realize what all this was welling up inside. All my life, I have been chasing after other lovers. All my life…Each one got taken away from me, or I chose to leave them (mostly they were taken, with my consent). I mean, I loved my cat with all my heart, I loved Haiti, I loved S-----…when those weren’t going on, my heart was always searching, creating little love affairs. I loved so many—in my poor way—though they never knew. I was too afraid to publicly love—that would require risk. So I built shadows of the dream that love is, and was content, in my way, with these…I knew no other way.

They talked about loving Orphans tonight—my calling perhaps because I was one. I only learned to truly love another being with my first trip to Haiti, where God started ripping out bits of my heart and began to put in beautiful bloody bits of His own. I began to beat for a cause—and it ruined me. It brought me to the end of myself, looking up at God, crying out for Him to do something! Make it better! Heal this hurt! How can you live with this?” He smiled at me, comforted me, sang over me…He knew I’d understand soon.

Then S------—the poor sucker!—last of my shadow loves and most deadly. Loving him exposed the broken parts of me—the lie I carried that hissed, “Unworthy”, the belief that I would never be pursued—loving him ruined me. And I looked at God and moaned and said, "I don’t know if I can bear this!” God took His broken daughter in His arms, loved her past her shame and said, “You are my Bride.”

You are my Bride…broken, hollow, empty, soulless, fearful…

He said it again, “You are my Bride.” She began to look around, saw “Worthy, Adored, Radiant, Joy” written on the walls of her heart. She began to hope.

“You are My Bride.” Destiny pouring out for her, dreams taking shape, hope restored and restoration coming…

“YOU ARE MY BRIDE!” This last one was a shout and with it all fear was dismantled. All that the little girl had built her life upon was suddenly in tatters and she found herself looking into the face of her King, her Father, her Bridegroom and laughing with Him at it. And they began to rebuild together, from the inside out.

That is what is happening in me. That is why I am overcome with my desire to be with Him—I know now who my True Love is and my heart is finally able to feel all that it was created to feel. And all that it wants—every beat of it—is to be with Him. It knows that it can have no other lovers and that all it needs is found in Him, and so it thirsts for Him achingly—oh to know the goodness of God and eat at His table. No more wandering beggar in rags, trying to find crumbs where she could. Now I know I am the Princess, the Desire of His Heart and I will preside at His table. His banner over me is love and I shall never leave its shade.

I’m finally able to only want you.