Journal Entry #979 (or something like that): June 17th,
2015
I guess what I’m learning is that nothing is what it seems.
Decay actually brings beauty and growth. The most unlikely people are the ones
God loves to use. And the place where it seems like everything is happening may
be the place where nothing is happening for the Kingdom, while the place where
it seems nothing is happening (to human eyes) may be the place where He is
having His Kingdom way most readily.
You just don’t know.
Which means we can’t judge another persons actions—because
the Lord may be asking them to quit their job, silly as it seems to you. And
you have to make the most of every opportunity presented to you because you
don’t know how long He’s going to ask you to be there. So invest, invest
mightily! You have nothing left to lose—didn’t you give it all for the Kingdom
anyway? You said you did…
And hope!—hope springs up everywhere where you choose to
rest and fully look into His eyes. That’s all He asked of us anyway, in the first
place: set your eyes on Me. Let all of that other stuff go, and set your eyes
on me, making my Kingdom first and I will take care of you. He will take care
of you, all your needs! He promised! (“Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His
righteousness and all these things will be given to you.” Matthew 6:33)
So I set out into the unknown again, full of hope. I could
list my impossibilities, all the things I am waiting on God before…but I won’t.
You have your own, the things you are waiting for. Because we’re all here in
the waiting. I once thought I was alone on this rock and had to muster up
enough courage and strength to wrestle my way alone through this fight and try
to drag some people with me, half dead though they may be, into the Kingdom.
That’s what I thought, that’s how I (unconsciously) lived. Then He woke me up
one day. “This happens to be my Kingdom,” He said, “And I give the orders
around here, “ He said, “ And you’re not really in line with the shape of
things as I do them ‘round here. Let’s get some redirection going.” And He
taught me about grace. And He showed me how to love. And He put courage in my
heart and taught me to live for His words and not the words of men. And He gave
me life, such abundant life. And all of a sudden, I wasn’t living for other
people. And I certainly wasn’t living for myself or (even worse) out of my own
strength but I began…looking to Him. And He filled my life with good things and
made the boundaries of my life pleasant for me. So I stay with Him, through thick
and thin, mistakes on my part, as well as misdirection, all the times I seem to
stumble and often fall and just plan don’t get it right: I remember that I’m
looking to Him and I don’t have to always get it right because He has me. And
He will continue to have me even into old age—He has such joy in being mine and
I in being His. So this is just a little note to say that He’s not done with
you. And He’ll never be through with you; His love just goes too deep for that.
In all the places that seem impossible to you in your life or the areas where
you just miss Him and want to be with Him again, lift up your hands! Look to
the One who made you and fall in love with Him again; no, not gooey-eyed like in the movies, but the love that looks
straight at another person and sees all their flaws, so clearly, and decides to
envelop them in all that they have to offer anyway. That is how the Lord loves
you and He will demonstrate it to you in His own unique way and time as you bow
forward and ask to love Him again. Fall, fall again into the arms of Jesus.
It’ll be the best falling forward failure that you’ve ever felt.
Our insufficiencies are His strength, for in this we cry out
to Him and His abundance overflows and envelops the very place we had thought
was won over by the enemy. Be set free today, in His love.
