I love my little brother. I guess I'll start there.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6vvqAxjPBE&feature=related
This song by Lisa Gungor...I just keep playing it over and over...
God's love goes beyond what my little brother chooses. It fills and encompasses all that Peter is. I know that Peter is watched with loving eyes everywhere He goes. I pray that his eyes will be opened up to that love one day.
God has me on a roundabout in this time of my life. I'm learning to love my family, really love them. I'm also learning to speak out the truths that are always right there when I'm speaking with someone. I'm learning not to be afraid of those things within me that are so strong. God wants my passions not just to boil inside of me, but to spill over into other people. I was always keeping them inside...but no longer. I won't keep those things which I feel the most about inside me any longer--because those things are the moments when God speaks through me...and everyone needs to hear Him.
It's been a long month. I was running, running, running...I went from a life of sluggish non-interaction to constantly being plugged in to people and doing things all day long. It made me exhausted...I was exhausted yesterday. I was almost becoming used to having exhaustion as a state of being...that's not okay, by the way.
It's so easy to get busy and miss God. I think that's the one best way that Satan has figured out for Americans so that they never reach God--keep 'em busy. The busyness tears at us, we constantly have things to do, events to plan, people to talk with, homework, exercise...
When is it my time to just be?
I can't even answer that. I've just been going for so long...little bits of God time get carved out, but for the most part...
This is scary to realize in your life. It frightens me. I need so much to be near God, especially at this point in my life, where a lot of roads are going to intersect and I have to choose which way to go...I need to hear from my Father--but am I making time for Him?
Pray.
This weekend is a moment of pause. I'm home, with nothing really to do besides a football game to attend tonight (my sister's playing the xylophone--she's so talented! Actually, I had no idea until yesterdy that she played said xylophone...oops, I'm out of touch!) This is the moment I give to God, for Him to do whatever He wants with. I want to hear Him and speak and yet I'm afraid too. What if I don't hear? What if I'm too far? Do I disappoint Him?
Oh, God is love, pouring down on us. He sees me as His daughter and always speaks words of love over me and always reminds me of the sacrifice He made on my behalf. I don't have to be afraid.
Psalm 22
