It's been such an interesting journey the last few weeks. At times it feels like everything is before me and then in other moments the doubts and despair begin to crowd in...
I have to choose which voices to listen to--and I am growing stronger in this time and God has put new (old) friends back into my life--and I'm so grateful.
Give me a song to sing
Give me a song to sing
Give me a song to sing
and I will sing it
Give me a song to sing
Give me a song to sing
Give me a song to sing
and I will sing it to You, God
--that's the Will Reagan song playing right now and it so fits where I am at with Him.
I'm just waiting, waiting and I feel like I have been waiting for a really long time--many disappointments have been my companions lately. They all rose up and confronted me yesterday, left me broken on the ground, calling out to God. They don't break me--they just make me hungry for You. It's hard to live with them, but that's where God and His beautiful, steadfast, faithful strength come in.
My weakness wants me to live in what could have been--but I must move forward into what will be.
Your Warrior Princess fighting with You to the end, learning how to give all she has...
The other day my friends husband said, after I shared the dreams God has placed in me about Haiti, that God had made me one who is able to handle a lot. God doesn't worry about putting a lot on my shoulders because He knows I can handle it.
If that's true, that's the goodness of God on display.
I always felt like the one who gave up first and had the hardest time (think Cross Country). But then again, I am becoming a person who sticks with it even when other people wouldn't dare try (think Calculus, Cross Country, Hebrew--even my last placement for student teaching). So He's growing in me this capacity to endure A LOT and that is His grace to me. Thank You for teaching me and seeing in me more potential than I could ever envision.
I don't know what's ahead of me but You have done well by me throughout my whole life. I know You will be leading and guiding in these next seasons. Maybe I will even fall in love with a real person and not just an ideal :) You're changing me...and that is grace and beauty and holiness in my life. Thank You for being good. I am excited for these next seasons, whatever they hold. Keep putting Your hope in me and draw me closer. i want YOU!
I am WHOLLY YOURS!
His Bride,
Robin
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