What do you do when the worst is confirmed? haha, maybe gain a new perspective and realize that from where you're sitting you cannot see everything that is before you. Let God be holy and remember He is in charge and He holds it all.
I got a call at about 8 am today...it was someone I knew, but only through phone conversations. She had called to tell me that the program I applied to go to Haiti through had filled all of their slots. They did not need any other female volunteers...
I had been trying to prepare myself for that call for a while. Rehearsing it in my mind, putitng the scenario before me and trying to brace...all my friends and people who knew me constantly encouraged me. "As soon as they meet you they'll want you!" But I never got the chance to meet them--my flight to Rhode Island got cancelled before I could even leave my city.
I count it a blessing--at least I'm trying to--I'm just not sure where to go from here. I could keep earning a liveable income as a teacher's aide at the school I love. Or I could take a chance and jump into student teaching, though I feel completely unprepared. I feel as though student teaching would lead me to living in my parent's house...while the other job would keep me in my city. I do not know which would be better for me at this point. I just don't know.
I feel like a balloon filled too full...so much pressure and I just don't know how to release it. I don't particularly want to be a elementary school teacher...oh God, I don't know!
I feel like its too much and I don't know what to do with it all...God, I trust You.
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