It's a Friday night--and you know what those are good for: undistracted reflection!!!
So, I have Misty Edwards music playing and whatever comes out during this time...will come out :)
Song I'm listening to right now:
"You hedge me in
with skin
all around me
I'm a garden enclosed
a locked garden
life takes place, behind the place
It's you and me alone God (4x-ish)"
Hmmm...I wonder...people's lives are moving forward but I'm not concerned with that:
"I'm no longer my own, I'm your garden
I don't want to waste my time living on the outside,
I'm gonna live from the inside out"
Exactly what the lyrics say is so true for me. I am no longer my own, I am His garden. I definitely have felt pruned this season, but it is so that I can bear more fruit. Maybe I'm on the edge of everything and don't even know it! I just am learning to rest completely in Him and leave the results up to Him. And that's the best place for me right now. I have more than proved that I can not handle my life or make good choices on my own (especially as it comes to relationships). I am so glad for God's keeping and His leading in my life.
"What does love look like? is the question I've been pondering..."
So true of my life right now...
"I once believed that love was romance, just a chance...
but love is more than this
All you ever wanted was my attention...to sit here at your feet...
if all of life comes down to love..."
And so true, that it can be seen in Christ's love--what was the expression in His eyes as He died for us on that cross?
"I could not escape those beautiful eyes
He had arms wide open a heart exposed
He had arms wide open
He was bleeding, bleeding..."
If I'm single for the rest of my life...but I know Him...I will have missed nothing.
"You shall love me...you shall love me...you shall love me....you shall love me...
With arms wide open, a heart exposed
With arms wide open
Bleeding, sometimes bleeding
You shall love me..."
This is the way I have chosen, one life fully committed to the cross and the love shown there...I had forgotten.
Haiti...Haiti needs wounded healers.
"You'll come alive when you learn to die
You shall love me...you shall love me...you shall love me..."
Wounded healers are those who have felt the pain and been through the struggle of life's day to day (perhaps cancer, war, death, sickness) and serve others out of that place and love and bring the healing and comfort that they have received into the broken places they encounter in others.
It's not about being perfect...it's about offering the comfort you have recieved with arms wide open to those who need to know of and feel its power. God on display in your life.
New song playing now:
"I live only to see your face,
so shine on me..."
Crying out, desperate: that was all me last Sunday in worship. I had nowhere to turn and had come to the end of myself this last break--oh, if the secrets of my heart were to be exposed I would not have a friend left! But God...He sees the most desperate, sinful, fallen times...the times when we abandon hope and forget to trust in Him...and He still loves us.
I was desperate for that love...I cried out...and even now, I don't know if I am completely open to it the way I long to be, but I want His love to be more and more predominant in my life.
"My soul longs for you
Nothing else will do
I believe you will come like the rain..."
Oh!!! There was a vision I had once of myself as a real small girl, just desperate and crying out on her knees in a really dusty, empty season of life...and then she was drenched with water and the pure ecstasy on her face was unmatched anywhere. May I be overflowing with Your presence, Beauty and Power in the days to come...I believe...
"Hallelujah, hallelujah
You'll make all things new..."
Even Haiti...even my heart
"So let it rain, let it rain, let it rain, let it rain..."
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