old, tired bones--that's how i feel lately…like someone decided to turn my life on high speed and i hadn't been warned. all good things, all good things--but it can become too much, ever so quickly--and eventually, if you don't take time and prioritize (which, if you're in the whirlwind, is hard to do!) you can end up being so used to functioning in an exhausted state that you learn to be content with offering your half-best--scary place to be.
a life lived well, for the moment, i am content in this. there are many things i dream of (Haiti comes to mind and whatever family of my own i am blessed with someday) but the thing which will always bug me and make me push forward is wanting to live a life well lived. its so easy (happens all the time to me) to lose your day in a million ways or only be half-there for the people who need you. its so easy that some people call it "living". to truly live--fully present in every moment, aware of other people and their needs, waiting with your ears open to God in case He has anything to say--can be exhausting!
or maybe i've hit upon something--all of the above, i attempt to do, as faithfully as i am able. however--i do forget, though i have been doing this God thing for years!--to remember to ask the Lord into my day--truly listening for His voice.
this is the lesson! that i will never stop learning, for the life of God lived out through you is a thing to be growing into from all eternity onward--never ending process for He is a limitless God. what a concept. what joy!
the husband of one of my friends said once, after meeting me and having known me for about an hour, "God sees unlimited potential in you. that's why He puts so much on your shoulders, He knows you can bear the weight. you're limitless with Him." This was said after a particularly trying period of my life, where day after day I had felt like i was juggling an enormous burden and no one but He knew what i was going through. hearing those words of truth from that man brought a freedom to my soul i had never allowed myself before--i was capable, more than capable, limitless, to do all that God had before me. therefore my future wasn't so bleak and yes, i had lived through that crazy storm that most people would have abandoned and yes, i could do all the crazy dreams that God had so lovingly piled into my hands for Haiti--limitless God, limitless Robin--its a new equation.
but i try so hard to do it on my own that i fear i will never move past my inadequacies. and yet, even as i write that, i recognize that something else is true. i have learned to never fear again--when a task, an opportunity, is set in front of me that ia know is a God filled hope bubble of "YES PLEASE THAT IS MINE!!" (you know, the things that set your heart on fire) i dive into it without thinking and overanalyzing anymore--its all become a "YES!" and "AMEN!" on my part. And this week, i was doing things that would have scared me a couple months ago--but i had forgotten to worry about the robin part of me and was striving with the God part of me. And yes, they knocked me out (literally exhausted afterwards) but right there in the middle, me and God working together--it was beautiful. it was glorious. it was Him on display in my life and i was glad to be His kid.
so yes, my future is a little vague--and yes, my dreams need some dusting--it feels like its been so long! but i'm in the company of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob…Joseph and all those other dreamers who really didn't have a chance--just a good Father who loved them dearly. If He is my portion, i can conquer any mountain readily--is that not faith? and in the meantime, i will learn the sabbath rest (crucial, especially in our busy American lives) and do my best to plant blessings in the garden of small beginnings--He will increase my lot. future secure in Him, present spent with Him, past covered by Him--
with a thankful heart!
The hand of the Lord was on me, and he brought me out by the Spirit of the Lord and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones. He led me back and forth among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry. He asked me, “Son of man, can these bones live?”
I said, “Sovereign Lord, you alone know.”
Then he said to me, “Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.’”
So I prophesied as I was commanded. And as I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound, and the bones came together, bone to bone. I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them and skin covered them, but there was no breath in them.
Then he said to me, “Prophesy to the breath; prophesy, son of man, and say to it, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Come, breath, from the four winds and breathe into these slain, that they may live.’” So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet—a vast army.
Then he said to me: “Son of man, these bones are the people of Israel. They say, ‘Our bones are dried up and our hope is gone; we are cut off.’ Therefore prophesy and say to them: ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: My people, I am going to open your graves and bring you up from them; I will bring you back to the land of Israel. Then you, my people, will know that I am the Lord, when I open your graves and bring you up from them. I will put my Spirit in you and you will live, and I will settle you in your own land. Then you will know that I the Lord have spoken, and I have done it, declares the Lord.’”
Ezekiel 37:1-14
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