I feel like Alice in Wonderland...
haha, this is something I've actually written about in another blog--probably a few weeks after I saw the movie. But it's like it's becoming more true--as though it has accelerated in some way...this is hard to write, because its not fully formed in my mind...but usually the only way for me to really know what I'm thinking is to write it out! That pins it down, keeps it from running around like crazy in my head and helps me discern why I am feeling/thinking/acting the way that I am. Writing...my necessary and God given tool.
Back to me being Alice :)
Everything changes today...I find myself facing a new journey. In a lot of ways, my life has been my own these past few years--I have gotten to choose where I want to be, how I want to get there and how long to stay--at times this was lonely, but it was free! Now a new season--Family! First the summer with my parents and then with the missionaries in Mongolia. I keep hearing the verse/idea: "he puts the lonely into families"(Psalm 68:6) and I can't help but know that it applies to me. I have a lot to learn and re-learn about doing family with my fellow human beings :) I also have a lot to learn about laying down my life so that others may thrive (this was the theme--and a fitting one--at my last day at the Stirring today). It's going to be really a wild ride--I don't think I can quite grasp it at this moment...maybe that's why I feel so much like Alice in Wonderland--this adventure just fell upon her and she totally wasn't ready for it--except that she was...she was the one that it had always been planned that she would risk her life to free a kingdom (whoa! noticing parallels!). She started out so uncertain and then as life progressed, all that was in her was revealed--and she was capable of far more than she could have told you she was at the beginning of the journey.
Oh gosh, this has been so much my journey! If you would have told me what the last few years of my life would have looked like, I would have cried and asked you to take it away. But Papa God saw me through all of it so beautifully--I didn't know it, but all I had needed was already in me/God was investing into me. BIZARRE! And so often life posed challenges that threatened to overwhelm me and God intervened when I called out and became my strength and hope--He invested authority into me, endurance and so much hope...the things I have been through--they show me that God is more than capable of bringing me through any trial or darkness that He puts in front of me...I'm not afraid.
And I have stuff to be afraid of: moving home where I have no friends, moving home in general!, moving to Mongolia in a few months!!!!, going to Haiti whenever that happens :) haha, this stuff is crazy--but I've already seen Him intervene and be strong in all the places where I am weak: so again, I just offer up all I am to Papa and pray that He uses me in whatever way He chooses--it's not my glory that's at stake, it's His!
Alice in Wonderland...ready and willing to adventure with Him...
Pray for me :)
No comments:
Post a Comment