I do not like people who pick on other people, especially when the one being picked on can't do a thing in their defense.

You wouldn't think this would come up in the Simpson library--but oh, it does! I'm still shaking from an encounter with a guy who decided to bug my friend.

And its funny, because she's trying to write on a paper on inter-racial reconciliation and we just run into this tension----------------vijf 

Jesus, I don't like this world sometimes. I saw a crow with a lame foot in the parking lot today and it made me cry--something deeper is bugging me, this brokenness that goes beyond what I know--it's so deep...

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus....

I realize I haven't written anything for a long time--I think that is part of my tension and frustration--I am someone who needs to be letting it out through words on the page all the time and I haven't allowed myself that outlet lately--so here's the flood. Better in the safety of the Simpson library with a computer screen in front of me than tomorrow in the middle of junior high...right?

These last three? (has it only been three? whoa!) weeks have felt more like three years. I am, oh man, just trying to figure out where I am and how it all works as a student teacher at my new placement. Some days have been rough--so rough! I just walk away and can feel so alone and tired. The victories are small, but substantial. Jesus is walking with me.

There's such a tension in this class--I know kids can do hard work and come out with beautiful stuff--its just that they won't even try sometimes. I try and try to motivate and move them forward and most days--it can be like a brick wall. I don't know why they can't just write: sometimes they can...bleh, bleh, bleh...

I'm going to try a trick and keep them away from a sort of outline they created...maybe once I hand it back to them in a week they'll discover some inspiration.

I teach science this week too. We'll see how that goes :) haha, bleh, bleh, bleh...

What else needs to come out?

They need respect--I gotta teach it to them. No one else has. That made me cry one day--I was so overcome by how rude they could be--not the least amount of respect was shown to me...

Oh Jesus, give me great love to override the great hate, the great tension, the great laziness, the great sorrow...I know you can give me what I need.

Tired--needing You--hungry

I      fall      at      Your      feet