The Workings Out of a Heart Not Fully Formed Yet

I write because I dream: I see this world as a place the Kingdom of God is constantly breaking into and I want to join my King Jesus in whatever way He sees fit to bring His life, His Presence, here.

This journey has taken me all over the world and lead to encounters with incredible men and women of God: their lives have imprinted mine. This blog is a result of our conversations and questions, and a way for me to display my inner life with God, so that others may see the glory of a life given fully over to her Creator. I, and the ones I love, are no special people--we just partner with an amazing God.

We've seen suffering. We know doubt. We wrestle with where we have been and how we got there--but we will never give up. Our lives are a testament to His faithfulness.

Be Blessed as you read. Encounter the King.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Give it all up for Jesus

No wonder God tells us we must give up everything we own in order to serve Him...

I was reading this review of a book about a girl who traveled through China with her friend
(http://mindfultourist.com/2009/04/04/undress-me-in-the-temple-of-heaven-the-mindful-tourist-book-review/) and they put an excerpet in the book which really made me think. It's worth sticking in here: "We thought that by wearing burlap pajamas, contracting intestinal parasites, and opting to ride in third class with “the people,” we were somehow being less Western and more Asian. It never seemed to occur to us that only privileged Westerners travel to developing countries in the first place, then use them as playgrounds and laboratories for our own enrichment. Only privileged Westerners would consider it a badge of honor to forsake modern amenities for a two-dollar-a-night roach-infested guesthouse. Only privileged Westerners sit around drinking beers at prices the natives can’t afford while sentimentalizing the nation’s lower standard of living and adopting it as a lifestyle…we were kidding ourselves in thinking that we were somehow transcending our Western privileges by doing this "

Since high school, I've wanted to be a missionary...but all I see are Western people going into countries, making it comfortable for themselves and then helping a few people. And they are missionaries! Not to bash on all missionaries, because there have been some in the past and there are some now who have given up everything to serve God where He calls them. The thing is, I want to meet these people. I want to be close to them, to see their hardships and the amazing ways in which God gives them the strength to go on. I know I want to be a missionary, it's a desire put into me by God. However, I don't want to go and not know the cost, you know? I guess I'm seeking in my life to hear from those who have been through this process of giving it all away to reach people and...maybe find a model, someone to lead the way. Jesus was that person...He left the glories and comforts of heaven to live among the dirty, broken, and poor of this world. I guess...I'm just wanting to seek Jesus more. That must be what it is. I want to be like Him if I ever live among the poor. Because we really can't love people and relate to them and fill their needs if we don't know exactly what it is like to be one of them. We must live in these places, giving up everything we've ever known, if we are going to be able to minister to them. This is a truth Jesus knew (He learned their culture deeply before He ever began ministry) and I want to take on that mindset and live the way he did, wherever He puts me. It will cost a lot, we must give up everything to go. We must learn a total dependence on God (I mean, can you imagine getting on an airplane with a backpack full of clothes and then just making your way in a foreign country from that point? God might call you to do that. Are you ready?) I know that I am in a time of preparation at this point in my life...but I want to give it all for God.

Does this make sense, the concept of not having anything to lean on when you become that missionary in the foreign culture? You have to get rid of everything in order to be able to truly understand the people you are trying to reach. 'Cause the money gets in the way, the stuff gets in the way...you don't want them to admire your possessions, you want them to hear your message. Oh, power of God! Fill us up so we can give it all away for you! Fill us with Your Spirit, power from on high. We can do anything if you are the strength of our hearts.

Let us count the cost, remember Your cross and go forth singing. You have made us to be Your messengers, move us O Lord. Let us go!

We wait for You and in You our hearts rejoice for our hope is in Your unfailing love.

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