The Workings Out of a Heart Not Fully Formed Yet

I write because I dream: I see this world as a place the Kingdom of God is constantly breaking into and I want to join my King Jesus in whatever way He sees fit to bring His life, His Presence, here.

This journey has taken me all over the world and lead to encounters with incredible men and women of God: their lives have imprinted mine. This blog is a result of our conversations and questions, and a way for me to display my inner life with God, so that others may see the glory of a life given fully over to her Creator. I, and the ones I love, are no special people--we just partner with an amazing God.

We've seen suffering. We know doubt. We wrestle with where we have been and how we got there--but we will never give up. Our lives are a testament to His faithfulness.

Be Blessed as you read. Encounter the King.

Saturday, October 17, 2015

Offer It: Whatever You Have...It's Good

Things have settled down at our ‘house’, around our base. We’re becoming familiar with one another, learning boundaries and quirks, already seeing changes in freedom and self worth, beginning to understand and hope in one another. It’s the transition stage where we’re not all trying to be super polite anymore, but we’re not quite sure of one another and even as we interact and learn of one another, we also are all continuously changing—so the person sitting across from you one day is a different person the next.

We’re being rewired into family. And family is an evolving, bouncing ball: depending on what we put into it, it can change shape and form, be extremely playful or extremely threatening (there are many places to play ball—the street is not preferred, i.e. lets continue to create a safe atmosphere!), hopeful and life giving or graceless and detrimental.

(If you are praying, pray we continue to mature and grow into truly healthy relationships growing past having mutual respect to truly honouring one another…that Christ would be present in all we do, even now as we grow into this team He can use. THANKS)

I, for one, am having a fantastic time growing alongside these guys. I appreciate the leaps and bounds they make, the ways they try to bury themselves in the Lord, the ways they grapple with their frustration until it turns for their good, the way they see into each other (and me) for all that we are worth and call it out! Next week the topic in lectures is “Relationships” and I don’t even know how good it’s going to be: I just know that this is a week the Lord is excited for, especially for me, and I can’t wait to see what He points out and restores.

It’s so good to be around people who are actively growing into wholeness and doing it pointedly before you. There’s a reason YWAM embraces community living as a core value: this closeness allows you to be revealed as you really are and see each other up close every day, the beautiful ways that we have learned to live out love. There’s one mom on base who always takes time for her young son—and that’s really healing for me to see, for whatever reason. And it’s little moments like that, where we really get to see each other every day that make this place and what the Lord is doing so unique.

I had a hard moment this week, where I had to share and face a hard reality of my life. I shared the moment and what God was revealing right after with my roommates (who all happened to show up at the same time) and the Lord used them to speak such life into me, showing me where God had already gone before to redeem me and even assured me that my life blessed them. God redeems. He lets us live close, be known, be seen and I…am just in awe.

I know we don’t all get the opportunity (and may not be made for that kind of intentional living—God, in all His diversity, arranged us for all sorts of lovely ways of living out healthy lives…this is not about whether you’re in communal housing or not) but be aware of the lives you affect every day. You may think you are just bopping along (“You do you!” as some people say) and totally, be yourself! But be aware—like, in awe—of the fact that God is using you in His own way every day. Submit to that: you are the living sacrifice. You think you’re walking to the bus stop—but you just offered a smile to someone that literally lifted them from despair. You are just getting a haircut—but as you talk and encourage those around you, you are giving them hope. You are just sitting with your sister—but you’re letting her know by your nearness that she is important to you. You are just playing with your kid—but that soon-to-be mother across the room from you is learning how to parent.

So thank you, wherever you are, whatever you do. You make a difference in this world. You are significant. Your voice needs to be heard.

You do you—the world changes.  And it may be small at first—but being faithful, even in that small thing, can have huge significance. You never know how the Lord will add to it when you ask Him. He has more to offer, more to give—keep asking.


Still hungry and always full—the paradox of His Kingdom in you!

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