I have been loving Steffany Gretzinger (look her music up if
you can) for a bit now, especially her newest solo album. There is something
about pure worship—in all her youtube videos, etc. you can tell that she does
not care what is going through your mind as you watch her—her focus is
completely on the Lord and whatever He has her do is good for her. It’s an
extraordinary capacity, to lose yourself, especially admired by myself, one who
has let fear, and especially fear of what others may think, rule her life for
way too long.
But I am learning to embrace “letting go” (this is actually
the title of one of her great songs…haha), learning to walk—even dance—in
freedom. The family around me, with all their embracing and even their longing
to hear my story, helps extraordinarily. They see things in me with such
conviction as I begrudgingly mention that it might be part of who I am, they
let me rest and they celebrate who I am…such a different season, to be embraced
in a family of faith. There’s a quality here, in this intentional Christ
community, that goes beyond normal human interaction to this place where hearts
are truly being knit together…I cannot wait to see the work the Lord continues
to do. We’ve already had moments of repentance, worship beyond telling (almost
all these kids can play instruments and boy, when we all join together, it’s a
beautiful harmony) and also exhilirating hilarity and hard work.
Last night we watched “The King’s Speech” and the themes in
it I believe are so fundamental to what this DTS is about. In case you haven’t
seen the movie, it’s about an English king who has a stammering problem and how
he offers what he has, insufficient as it may seem to be, to lead forth his
nation. It is beyond difficult for him to get any words out—fear gripping him
continually—and the perseverance, struggle and force he has to put into even
getting a sentence out correctly is painful and beautiful to watch. Painful,
because you know that it would be so much easier for him to just stay quiet and
let his words fall silent and never be uttered. But beautiful because he offers
it, though it may seem inadequate. He is only the king, but he knows, as his
country is going into war, that his words have the capacity to lead his people
forward in courage, to give them vision and a fight worth fighting for. He
knows he cannot stay silent.
As we move in the kingdom of God, we may feel that we have
almost nothing to offer. We may struggle to offer forth our seemingly pitiful
offering—a tiny nudge that tells you to pray for a person or a moment when you
realize the person in front of you needs to hear the Good News about Jesus—and
you feel inadequate. You haven’t got the theological degree—or maybe you do—and
someone else could do this so much better than you: you could name them one by
one on your hand! But over and over, it’s you. You, out there, on God’s green
earth meeting people and living life—you needing to grow and the Lord putting you
in places and situations where you have the opportunity and chance—and you,
offering what you have because the fight is invaluable and goes beyond what you
are able to do to this point where you are needed, desperately, and if you
don’t show up and take your place something invaluable will be lost.
Fight your fight, where you are, offering all that you have,
even if you feel like it isn’t enough.
That’s all.
No comments:
Post a Comment