VICTORY DANCE

"Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men! Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers. Pray for powers equal to your tasks! Then the doing of your work shall be no miracle. But you shall be a miracle." (Phillip Brooks)

Jesus...you've been at work in me a long time. This is my victory dance!

After church the other day, the Lord was talking with me. Just out of nowhere as I got into the car He said, "I like doing miracles. Will you be my miracle?" I just laughed out loud--the week before had been hell (too much isolation and I don't know what all!) and I had school the next morning for the first time in three weeks...it was just a funny moment to be asked to be a miracle. But, of course, I said, "Yes" and the fruit of my life since that moment (it's been four days) is just incredible...

And of course, this miracle has been in process for who knows how many years--well, I do know. Three. I wrote a blog almost three years ago when I started going through the first really hard trial (it involved a boy...and him dating another girl) and the Lord comforted me then...let me know that three years from then the ache would be healed, it was worth hoping...

And He has done all that He promised. Obviously I'm not married--not even aware of anyone that I should start dating--but that doesn't matter as much. It just doesn't. I trust my Lord so much-especially in this part of my life where I am so vulnerable and He knows the weight of it and knows what He wants to do--that I refuse to be like the world around me, overly obsessed with what may happen and who they're going to have their next crush on. I've seen His timing too often. I know He's good. He's going to love me through.

The second part of this quote by Phillips Brook that I had never seen before and am now living in the joy of:

"Every day you shall wonder at yourself, at the richness of life which has come to you by the grace of God."

I am His miracle!

Let Your Eyes Be Open

Okay, I fixed it...it was translating every letter I typed into Hindi...so now that random post says, in Hindi, "Today was a weird day. It's even weird right now as it is changing everything I type into Arhmaic (I think)." I don't know how to spell Aramaic...

Anyways...my friends are having a party today...we went shopping...at WinCo...with lots of people around...

I realized something.

First--I don't go out into my community much, not really. For several years, my version of Redding was, "People there are so joyful, it's my favorite place in the world to be." Last year my version was, "It's the place where I am known, there's isn't a space like it in all the world." A few months ago: "There are some broken, hurting people living in this city. I see it in their kids everyday." Today: "We aren't who we should be."

I'm learning more and more that we were created for a different world. That thought, even writing that sentence, brings a smile of genuine joy to my face.

But we're not there.

My blog is called "Here in the Waiting" from the title of a Laura Hackett song. (She's amazing, check her out). I am in the waiting in a lot of areas in my life: my dreams, especially for Haiti; love and all that comes with it; my career; family members...I don't have answers. But I do have hope! Jesus...

So many people don't.

I noticed them today...they look tired, pale...you look at these faces and some of them are half alive. So many people at WinCo in Redding today were not living...not enjoying...not as they should be....

I couldn't stop looking at these faces. I was thinking of the Eric and Leslie Ludy book called "Meet Mr. Smith" where he details his experience meeting "Mr. Marvelous". Mr Marvelous is the personification of all that we should be growing into: stately without being pompous, quiet strength, deep compassion, love...when Eric meets this man, he realizes all he must grow into (the full stature of the measure of Christ). I was trying to see if anyone fit this description in any way, shape, or form in WinCo--and maybe its not the best place to look--but it was scary to me just how far all of us were. There's a lot you can tell by looking at a person--how healthy they are, whether they are happy, where they put their thoughts. You watch their interactions, within their families and with others, and you see either a person who holds himself with dignity and treats others with gentleness or you see...people just getting what they need without interacting, shifty eyes, tired...I don't know...

There is a glory meant to shine on our faces...freedom meant to be shining out of our eyes...grace flowing in every movement...but when the fall came, we all lost it. I can almost see the moment: the people who were up, walking, talking, fully alive...suddenly all fall to the ground in an instant as a filmy curtain envelops the scene. Some, because of Christ's sacrifice, break free and live in light. I see it in people at Bethel and at the Stirring, some of my friends...but so many...

I guess I saw what it means to be lost today.

Cry alone, die alone
pray alone, stay alone
-lyrics from the Glen Hansard song I am listening to

And don't these lyrics perfectly describe what we are without Jesus?

I feel sad right now...I love seeing the world, actually looking past what I am doing and seeing people around me...but sometimes it...you can fill in the blank...

I pray that wherever you are and whatever you do, you would see the world today in all its blessing and all its beauty. Notice the people around you in a grocery store. Take time to say "hi" to a neighbor...let love mark your footsteps. The world so desperately needs it.