Alignment

Alignment...this is the word which keeps coming to me as I progress through this season.

Alignment...it involves more than knowing something about the Lord and about the season He has you in and the words He's speaking into you. When you align with a group or person or idea, you're not only believing it but you also choose to be in it. It's almost an abiding that occurs as you possess this idea, thing, person more and more within your being. It's a gradual process, but its very deep--all encompassing.

It's what happens through dating as you move towards becoming one. You gradually are finding that every bit of you aligns with them and at the end of a long process of being known and getting to know, you are finally one. Possessed by them, in a sense, in the best way, as your two lives are now joined--every bit of who you are and who they are filled in with each other and you continue to build this oneness throughout your whole lives.

Marriage: a constant aligning.

Alignment: the most beautiful and sacred process, but also the most perilous...for I find that I can align where I am not supposed to, and I have to ask the Lord to pull me back.

And the beautiful thing is, He does. We don't even have to strive but just lay back against His chest (as a song I'm listening to right now by Jenn Johnson says--perfect timing! haha). He knows how to constantly realigning us with Himself so that we find our lives--in whatever way they have gone a little bit out of whack--coming into true alignment and finding life as He breathes His strength, joy, hope, whatever you need into the place where you are, the struggle, the misalignment...

I'm not saying that it happens quickly or easily in any way (some things must be brought to Him again and again, over and over, day after day) but He does not mind the struggle the way that we do. He even celebrates it, because as we don't give up and keep bringing our struggle to Him, it creates intimacy. Your struggle can actually be the best thing for your relationship with God because it creates this healthy reliance that brings Him such joy and leads in the end to your peace. And as you are comforted, over and over, you learn how to bring His comfort to others who have been struggling.

We talked through relationships this week with a lovely couple, originally from Washington, now living in Budapest with their 16-month-old son (he came with them--what a joy!). They were honest about their struggles and guided us through discussions on sex, marriage, stewardship, legacy and conflict resolution. It was a packed week with a lot of good confirmation in my life as well as realizing how much better I can do relationships (with the Lord's help). I have been a mess sometimes, but this alignment with the Lord and an understanding of myself, where I have come from and why I have reacted to life the way I have is both beautiful and hopeful--I won't stay where I have been and I am aligning with the King of the Universe for the best in my future.

I am a little life, but He cares dearly for me.

May I ever align with You, Lord. Thank You for the grace in my untangling.