Living Alive in the Waiting

There's been a lot going on in my life...so much to think through, dreams to examine and sharpen, ideas to process, just stuff to go through--add in needing to leave my apartment and really convincing myself that I truly was allowed to go to Ireland, like I'd been dreaming off and putting on the back burner for months--and you get a slightly stressed Robin.

Or you do without the Lord. Two days ago I was in a funk, sitting on my bedroom floor feeling paralyzed and questioning everything. But today, I am walking, talking and breathing out hope. I am looking at a place to live tonight, being effective in my work and really writing like crazy.

What's the difference? What's the secret formula? How do you go about that kind of change? (I can hear you asking, haha.)

I spent the time in prayer and sought godly counsel. That's it, truly. I am blessed at this point in my life to go to prayer meetings four times a week--it's the off season for teachers and I am being paid at this time to basically seek the Lord. Boy, do I love it. I feel like He is using this season to restore my soul in a way that is desperately needed after my incredibly busy season last year. And I so value and treasure this time of resting and waiting on Him. He's answering my prayers and building a testimony and when the next season comes, I'll be able to hit the ground running and move in Him.

I urge you to just come into an awareness of your season. In mine, at first I wanted to work really, really hard and had created a schedule for myself. It looked REALLY good and productive on paper. Robin likes that. That's not how life with God works--Robin had to adjust her expectations. When I finally asked Him what this season looked like, He said it was a time to rest and wait, because in the next one I would hit the ground running. He had me join a prayer group for my strength, not work as much as a volunteer as I'd like and guess what? I sleep in ALL the time--which I have not done for what seems like years.

You have to know your season. I urge you, take a few moments and ask Holy Spirit what He knows about the season you're in. You'll be surprised. He'll speak and make it clear. Then, take advantage of that season. If its rest, live it to the hilt. If its attack, going after what you've always dreamed of, keep leaning into Him for the wisdom to move forward joyfully and in all of His good timing. If its time to let go of dreams to focus on family, take that detour--be with and love them. If He's asking you to sow into people or a ministry or make a really big job change (maybe some transition) enjoy it.

It's there for you to enjoy, not to stress over. Don't be like me two days ago, stuck in my doubts and afraid. Be like me today, going after what He has placed in me and knowing that I have prayed through all the details and found His reassurance. He wants to reach us, He wants to heal us, He wants to love us and He wants to see us through. Trust Him in ALL of that!

#newreality

I am writing this from a new reality.

No, I haven’t found the gap in space/time and pushed through it (ahha). Rather, the old has fallen away and a new season comes to take its place.

And believe me, I have been waiting, I have been praying, I have been longing for this season when He and I get to move forward together into all that He has taken those months of waiting and praying and hoping to prepare. Ask me what it looks like and I’ll tell you that I have no clue. But I also have peace and assurance, because this Lord who I have given my life to is good, undoubtedly, overwhelmingly good. And I know what He has been doing in me and causing to come out of me and it is good. And I know that this season will be different and so good from all the rest and able to move me further because I have a secret, a new one which launches me forth into more life and possibility (a new reality!) than any other. Want to hear it? Want to know the hope that changes the whole world (me included)? Here it is: I have died.

See, I always tried to do ministry out of self-striving, my own strength, my abilities and I failed pretty regularly, probably daily if I’m being honest. There was nothing filling me up besides myself and that, I tell you, is not enough to change the world. It’s not even enough to change me or be enough for me. More than anything, my claimed ‘self-sufficiency’ held me back from everything I longed to be.

And I write this not because I finally have it all figured out (God is definitely still at work peeling back the layers in the onion-heart of me) or that it all suddenly clicked in the last day or so, but because I feel that all I have been learning about letting who I am and my works go and stepping into obedience to Him and following where He leads are finally locking together and giving me wings—all the moving parts coming together organically to launch me into who-knows-what with absolute hope.

Because when I start flying now (as Robins are made to do) His wind will be under my wings.

Because the joy that fills in and flows over me as I get ready to launch is pretty fantastic and only to be shared.

Because this journey of becoming One of His Own is not just my own—I believe there are thousands of us out there, just on the verge of being launched.

That the Lord is birthing forth dreamers, doers, Kingdom Advancers in only the beginning of a Great Awakening that will astonish all those who witness.

Because we’re no longer here for us, or what can even be done in us, but for Him and that simple, tiny mindset change releases the Lord and His Word in ways we won’t even be able to fathom, until we’re behind them or in the midst of them and we look around and realize, “He’s doing it. What He always said He would do is happening, right in front of me.” And it’ll cause us to just revel and take delight in Him even more.

I can’t wait, I can’t wait, I can’t wait! Lord, Jesus, come have your way! Meet us in the middle of wherever we are and begin the dance that moves thousands, hundreds of thousands to you.

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God.”

Galatians 2:20

#newreality

The blessing of Oreos

I am so thankful for good friends!!! They bless me so much!

I've been on a shoe-string budget (as in, I can't afford to buy anything) and I don't mind...because it makes those little blessings that much sweeter. Such as right now, when my friend Cherith said, "I have something for you" and then ran to her room and came back with a whole container of Double-Stuf Oreos...and handed them to me! The whole container, not just two cookies! Do you know what a wealth that is to a girl who can't afford to buy anything? I was pretty floored and I asked her, "Are they all mine?" a couple of times. I just couldn't believe it...

It reminds me of God's grace. He has so much for us, His Holy Spirit meant to fill our lives and Him showing Himself through miraculous signs and words for us and yet...so many of us don't believe it. We can't believe He would bless us, we've made such a mess of things! And yet...it is all for us...oh, it floors me! Does it floor you? Ask God for an outpouring of all that He has for us, accept His gift!

I was watching the IHOP webstream and just dancing and asking God to outpour His Spirit...I was praying for His Spirit to fill Haiti...oh, it was so good. His Presence.

Seek Him, my friend. He is not far from any of us.