These are all
pre-trip journals. This first entry is from a few weeks before my trip, on the
day my little bro graduated high school:
Jesus.
You remind me of hope. One visit by You to our planet changed everything. I
will not believe this statement: "one accidental human visitor has little
chance of making a difference in their lives." You have absolutely refuted
this claim through Your life.
What these people need is someone to stay, to dwell with them, to care
and love enough to make a commitment.
"I [was] never meant to do this on [my] own" from 'I'll
Be There for You'
I
know my God will be with me wherever I go. There is too much suffering in this
world, too much that needs changing, for me to stay here and be comfortable. I
must move, God guide me. And no matter what I lose, I will still follow.
It's only by Your grace and Your power and Your love that I am able to do
anything. Help me to always remember that I am completely reliant on You.
"Tell the world that Jesus lives..."
What do you desire for me, Lord?
What do you desire of me, Lord?
--June
11th, 2008
Helping out with the Drama Portion of my churches Vacation
Bible School Program:
I think I've realized a few things this week.
Maybe things being reaffirmed.
First, I've got to get serious about God. No more of this mushy, gushy, "I
love Jesus" talk and "did you have fun?" I was doing VBS this
week, teaching through drama and reading Keith Green's biography, written by
his wife. I was good at what I did in VBS, people kept giving me compliments ad
Brenda [children's pastor at the church] told me I could have a future in
children's ministry...I could have taken a lot of pride in that and I'm sad to
say I did. One girl came up to me in chapel and asked me to sign her balloon.
At least that's what I thought she said. Turns out she wanted me to tie it.
But if this isn't all pointing back to Jesus...what exactly am I doing this
for? And who? For Brenda, who when I saw her come into the room, my heart
skipped a beat. Two of my old friends showing up again--pride and my need to
please people. No wonder I keep reading the verse "for they loved the
praise of man more than the praise of God". I believe it's a warning.
Yes, I could go into children's ministry and I could be good at it too. But for
the glory of who?
--June
27th, 2008
I'm supposed to write a lot, when I go to
Haiti. And I'm supposed to only take one book, called The Sacred Romance. I'm
reading another book while at home about the life of Peter Marshall, written by
his wife. The book is A Man Called Peter and the theme of The Sacred Romance
can be summarized through this quote from A Man Called Peter:
"...idealism of Peter's was no mere sentimentality, for it was rooted and
grounded in the love of Christ. Indeed, every sermon Peter preached was a word
drama, whose gigantic backdrop was a picture etched in bold strokes of God's
age-long courtship of the human race. To the preacher, all human history was
but the tale of God's tender wooing of the self-willed, stubborn hearts of men
and women--a drama that culminated in the Cross. No romance could ever equal
the romance of Calvary..." (pg. 81)
--July 4th, 2008
...remember that always and in every place, Christ has made victory
possible for us.
Remember that always
and in every place, Christ has made victory possible for us!
supplement our small
faith, Lord!
Let us know Your
face, Your name our hope! For You alone can do all things. In Your name, Jesus,
do we go forth!
--July 5th, 2008
This song, a bit of it,
came to mind last week. I found out what song it was and found a video of it on
Youtube and I’ve been watching and singing with it all week. The song is “You
Are My Stronghold” by Watermark. I love the message of this song, it’s so
powerful and it speaks to my situation. A song given to me by the Lord.
Lord, You are my light and
my salvation
Whome shall I fear if you
are near?
Lord, You are my peace
when there is war all around me
And even there inside me I
will have no fear
(Chorus)
O Lord, You’re my
protection from my enemies
You set me high upon a
rock and You defend my soul
And when their ways
advance against me
I am confident
That they cannot make me
less,
For You have made me whole
Lord, You are my strength,
so let my head be lifted up
That I may glory in the
ways You’ve overcome
Lord, You are my home
because You’ve created in me
A heart that lives the
victory that You’ve already won
(2x Chorus)
--July 5th, 2008
At this point, I’ve met up
with my team and we’re preparing to go!:
We drew what part of the
body we felt we were and immediately, as Katie was talking about the activity,
a picture of a heart popped into my mind. My gift is faith, knowing God can do
anything and that is central. I also think I have the gift of mercy and that is
central to the heart…I don’t know, I almost felt like I was being prideful,
saying I was such a central part, but all the parts are important. I’m no more
important…if we were all heart and no brains, where would we be?
--July 6th,
2008 (going to Haiti tomorrow!)
The day we leave:
A promise: At your weakest
point, you will be protected.
“Through it all God wanted
to prove to Israel that He alone was their defense. He wanted to convince them,
‘This isn’t your battle. Victory will never come through your own hands. It
will not happen through your muscle, might or power. It will come to you only
through My Spirit.” (Knowing God By Name, 70)
having no confidence in
the flesh
“cast…[your]self
completely into the arms of your heavenly Father…refuse…to put [your]
confidence in man or in [your] own strength…” (pg. 72, same book)
You
call us to something that transcends safety and common sense” (pg. 60, Sacred
Romance), something glorious for Your Kingdom.
The
shout of a King is among us!
“For
the Lord their God is with them;
he has been proclaimed their king.
God brought them out of Egypt;
For them He is as strong as a wild ox.
No curse can touch Jacob;
No magic has any power against Israel.
For now it will be said of Jacob,
‘What wonders God has done for Israel!’”
Numbers 23:21-23
Same God is with us today. So strong, so powerful with a
love so deep. Though we hurt Him, He still loves, as a mother loves the baby in
her womb. [From modern Robin—just felt like this needs to be said: We are
called to deep, inordinate love—every single human one of us. This flies in the
face of all that the world cries to us about protecting ourselves and only
loving when we are sure of gain from it—our King teaches deeper and better. He
shows the love of a mother, who though her baby was deformed and might infringe
upon her life, refused to even consider an abortion. Though this baby had been
only a few weeks growing in her, she already knew and loved it and would
sacrifice anything on its behalf. That is the love we are called to—giving our
all though it may cost us our all—body, soul and self. None belong to you, for
you belong to the Lord. Live as such; offer your bodies as living sacrifices
for His glory. He will lead, guide and cause you to prosper. All that you
believe you are losing will be given back to you tenfold, nay, a hundredfold.
Only follow, think nothing of the cost.] May we not dishonor You, Lord, with
our actions but may we bring You glory in all we do and say in Haiti. This is the
day…
--July 7th, 2008
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