The Ever-Changing Road...

I love how God is not bound by space or time and continues to move in and with us. I have heard multiple times from people praying about their future that, when they have one of two options, they just feel like the Lord is asking them to choose. He is a God who, strangely enough, lets us have free will. Sometimes we use that for evil, sometimes for good, but ultimately, our choices don’t faze Him and He moves with them.

I didn’t come to this realization quickly or even gracefully: I used to be stuck so far in the “this is God’s plan for your life, don’t move away from it” camp that it paralyzed me: I was desperately afraid of taking the wrong job, marrying the wrong person or in any other way deviating from the perfect plan God had for me. I imagined that my life and its direction would and could only come together if I had it exactly right. What a mess! What a lie!

Now I know that it all is much more fluid than I could have put together: that there are hints and clues we can tune in to all along the way that help guide us and give us direction, but that, ultimately, you don’t have to get this right. What seems right at one time can change in a moment, as others make their choices and life happens.

This came really clear to me when we were choosing our Ireland outreaches (the last part of our DTS, where we went out into the local community to do ministry). We were asked to pray about what location we should go to and at first, I was set on Dublin. I have never wanted to go there and know absolutely nothing about that city, but that was definitely the pull. I was also aware that I would probably be with Whitney; I felt that the Lord wanted me to be under her leadership again (we had worked together in the kitchen, making dinner every night).

As the hour went on before we were to hand in our slips with our choice for Ireland outreach, I remember feeling that I also could go to Formagne—if I ended up there, that would work just as well.

Well, I got assigned to go to Formagne (without writing it down on the slip I turned in to my leaders) and was kind of confused: why was Dublin so strong and then it changed to Formagne? It wasn’t until toward the end of my week long trip in Formagne that it all got put together: Whitney mentioned that she had been supposed to go to Dublin, but then they switched everything around just before we turned in our little slips of paper. So, God had directed me to Dublin to be with Whitney, but then, when that got switched around, He redirected me. I was hearing well…hmmm…

I am learning that the true key and the thing to be always doing and cultivating is this thing called ‘abiding’. Everything might turn around in a moment, depending on human choices and things going on in the world and just life: it’s a fluid, ever-in-flux kind of thing. I am not saying that our God is at all like this: His character and who He is are never changing, ever present. But this world, that which He created, was created with those who have a will of their own, for good or ill. It was quiet a choice to make, as a God, quite a risky choice—but I think it all shows just how powerful He is: that He could make that kind of risk, even choosing to love, for the sake of being—potentially—loved back.

Knowing that about my God makes me that much more willing to love Him—this love was never forced and is one that will never, ever stop pursuing me. That is quite a thing to know: it lets that much more freedom flow from me, from my life. It makes me want to come running to Him even more too: knowing just how free I am paradoxically makes me that much more willing and able to offer my life to Him again, wanting to tune in more and more: what are you up to good Daddy? How can I join you?

God is able to pull it all together mid-stream, as we fly: That’s how my school was put together. They started out with two leaders and one support staff for more than 20 students. As we went along, we gained three more support staff: enough to keep us going in India. It was an interesting progression and I know we are all grateful for those who jumped in mid-flight. They were the best!

And now, I feel a shift…one that’s not too large, but will be significant. As time gets closer, you’ll know more. I love the way the Lord works: though I don’t know every detail, in the past few years, He has clued me in to what is coming next and then (usually) how long that thing will last. Again, human choice in the middle of it all causes different shifts, so I hold all my plans loosely in love, but I have been blessed to know for about how long I’ll get to stay in a place. I knew two years ago that I would get a teaching job—though I had no prospects—and toward the beginning of that teaching year, I also knew that I would only be there for a year. I knew last January that a shift was coming and then knew it was a shift into missions in March. I knew that this step, into YWAM, was just a beginning, that everything would move really quickly from this initial school I just finished (the word was ‘acceleration’), I knew I would be back to Ireland…and I have an idea of how long He’ll keep me there.

And yet, in the middle of the big picture, always abiding—ready to move as He wills me.

It’s a good life, lived in Him.