The Workings Out of a Heart Not Fully Formed Yet

I write because I dream: I see this world as a place the Kingdom of God is constantly breaking into and I want to join my King Jesus in whatever way He sees fit to bring His life, His Presence, here.

This journey has taken me all over the world and lead to encounters with incredible men and women of God: their lives have imprinted mine. This blog is a result of our conversations and questions, and a way for me to display my inner life with God, so that others may see the glory of a life given fully over to her Creator. I, and the ones I love, are no special people--we just partner with an amazing God.

We've seen suffering. We know doubt. We wrestle with where we have been and how we got there--but we will never give up. Our lives are a testament to His faithfulness.

Be Blessed as you read. Encounter the King.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

the Kingdom of God...

Journal Entry #979 (or something like that): June 17th, 2015

I guess what I’m learning is that nothing is what it seems. Decay actually brings beauty and growth. The most unlikely people are the ones God loves to use. And the place where it seems like everything is happening may be the place where nothing is happening for the Kingdom, while the place where it seems nothing is happening (to human eyes) may be the place where He is having His Kingdom way most readily.

You just don’t know.
Which means we can’t judge another persons actions—because the Lord may be asking them to quit their job, silly as it seems to you. And you have to make the most of every opportunity presented to you because you don’t know how long He’s going to ask you to be there. So invest, invest mightily! You have nothing left to lose—didn’t you give it all for the Kingdom anyway? You said you did…

And hope!—hope springs up everywhere where you choose to rest and fully look into His eyes. That’s all He asked of us anyway, in the first place: set your eyes on Me. Let all of that other stuff go, and set your eyes on me, making my Kingdom first and I will take care of you. He will take care of you, all your needs! He promised! (“Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you.” Matthew 6:33)

So I set out into the unknown again, full of hope. I could list my impossibilities, all the things I am waiting on God before…but I won’t. You have your own, the things you are waiting for. Because we’re all here in the waiting. I once thought I was alone on this rock and had to muster up enough courage and strength to wrestle my way alone through this fight and try to drag some people with me, half dead though they may be, into the Kingdom. That’s what I thought, that’s how I (unconsciously) lived. Then He woke me up one day. “This happens to be my Kingdom,” He said, “And I give the orders around here, “ He said, “ And you’re not really in line with the shape of things as I do them ‘round here. Let’s get some redirection going.” And He taught me about grace. And He showed me how to love. And He put courage in my heart and taught me to live for His words and not the words of men. And He gave me life, such abundant life. And all of a sudden, I wasn’t living for other people. And I certainly wasn’t living for myself or (even worse) out of my own strength but I began…looking to Him. And He filled my life with good things and made the boundaries of my life pleasant for me. So I stay with Him, through thick and thin, mistakes on my part, as well as misdirection, all the times I seem to stumble and often fall and just plan don’t get it right: I remember that I’m looking to Him and I don’t have to always get it right because He has me. And He will continue to have me even into old age—He has such joy in being mine and I in being His. So this is just a little note to say that He’s not done with you. And He’ll never be through with you; His love just goes too deep for that. In all the places that seem impossible to you in your life or the areas where you just miss Him and want to be with Him again, lift up your hands! Look to the One who made you and fall in love with Him again; no, not gooey-eyed  like in the movies, but the love that looks straight at another person and sees all their flaws, so clearly, and decides to envelop them in all that they have to offer anyway. That is how the Lord loves you and He will demonstrate it to you in His own unique way and time as you bow forward and ask to love Him again. Fall, fall again into the arms of Jesus. It’ll be the best falling forward failure that you’ve ever felt.

Our insufficiencies are His strength, for in this we cry out to Him and His abundance overflows and envelops the very place we had thought was won over by the enemy. Be set free today, in His love.



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