I love that God loves the process.
I woke up this morning to make some hot
chocolate. All went well: boil the milk, pour it into its container but then…I
proceeded to get hot chocolate everywhere in the process of putting the
chocolate mix into an already overfilled cup. The milk took the leap, exceeded
all of its boundaries and made a terrific mess: puddles and splotches and hot
chocolate mix all deliciously wonderfully all over everything at that kitchen
sink.
And I just laughed, because God was
reminding me that even when my soul is a mess, sin polluting and spilling over
and so much to mop up and sort through, He still knows He’s getting hot
chocolate. Even in the middle of my terrible messes, He knows what He’s doing.
He’s not afraid of this process, but delights in it, because He’s more than
enough to clean up the mess. He sent His Son in my place, even if there were
only a smidgen of hot chocolate left for Him to taste, He would still be in it
and for it and cheering it on.
I need to hear that reminder, that
delight of God in the middle of my circumstance, my mess, all the things I
can’t see that I hope are coming together and are in line with His Kingdom.
Life can be so peculiar and thorny and leave you with a bad taste in your
mouth. Then your enemy lies to you right in the middle of your sin struggle and
you wonder, “Is this me? Is this all there really is to me? Why can’t I get
over this, move past it?” And the enemy keeps lying…
First of all, remember that your sin is
not your identity. The enemy will over and over again attack this, saying that
what you do is who you are. Not true! It may be a reflection of what is going
on in your soul, but it does not encompass all that you are. If you are part of
the righteous being made perfect (basically, those who believe Jesus has saved
and is saving them—He died once for all time and continues to help us through
our day to day struggles) then you ARE NOT your sin. You are a child of God,
filled with the Holy Ghost, bought by His blood and forever redeemed. (By the
way, I would encourage you to lay aside your own thoughts, rebuke any lies the
enemy is trying to fill your mind with and simply ask the Holy Spirit to speak
to you now about how He sees you and what He has made you for. What’s your
identity in the Kingdom? Take the time now to ask, you’ll be surprised and
impressed with how specific He is and how much love He has for you.)
We were made for so much more than we
ever realize as we try to plough our way through the trenches of life. I
encourage you to take a moment and sit with your Daddy, looking up. As I write
this, a terrible storm is disapating here in Northern Ireland. A few moments
ago, anyone standing outside would have been soaked and wind tossed—the weather
outside was brutal, rain running sideways and wind that would knock you flat.
But even as I write, the storm is breaking up, clouds pulling back to reveal
such glory in the skies, the sun bursting forth so radiant because the air has
been cleared for it to be revealed in its full splendor.
That’s a picture of our lives in Christ,
especially as we struggle with sin (and yes, I have been in the trenches this
week—I’m not preaching at you, I am speaking from experience). We get to this
point where we feel so buffeted and downtrodden that we don’t want to take one
more step forward—but that is the moment: the moment when Christ shines forth
in our life and we find our all sufficiency in Him, fully realizing that He is
all we need. If my life is to be filled with storms, it is that it may be also
be filled with His wonder.
And the Lord was reminding me today that
I do not know the beginning of what it means to feel pain. As Hebrews 12:3-4 says,
“Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that
you may not grow weary or fainthearted. In your struggle against sin you have
not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.” Jesus took a cross for
us and He didn’t die with my sin on His back—but the whole worlds sin. Let that
sink in for a moment, the full import of those words: he took the cross on
fully, fully knowing the pain it would cause Him because He also knew the joy
it would bring to Him. He saw the worth in it and was willing to do anything
that the Father asked of Him to bring forth His treasure, our very lives. When
I look at my life, my struggles through those lenses, I can no longer let sin
control me. I can no longer say that I am a defeated soldier in the battle. He
has taken the cross for me, the full import of all my indiscretions, and I have
been given a victory which far surpasses any lies the enemy tries to toss me,
hoping I’ll believe. “Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your
weak knees, and
make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of
joint but rather be healed.” (Hebrews 12:12-13)
I live in wonder, fully absorbed in all
the life that Christ has bought for me: and the secret, I am learning, is to
want Him more. I can stay in my sin, feel it coursing through me as I entertain
certain thoughts OR I can feel the wonder of knowing the Holy Spirit and
worshipping God with all that I do and say. The latter is so much more full of
life and hopeful, I can’t even pretend that the first has any appeal. So when
thoughts come to me that I know are not pure, I seek Christ. I say, as quickly
as they arrive, “I want Jesus more.” And
that little reminder—that dear, sweet truth—banishes all longings for anything
else.
